Hey! All You Moms Out There...

Yep.
I am STILL nursing. 
Is that really SO bad?  Is it really anybody elses' business? 

Little A is 23 months.  In my eyes, she's still my baby.  Don't get me wrong - I see how fast she is growing up, talking, potty-learned, tattling on her big brother.   My smart, big girl and one proud mama.

I want to share an experience with you that prompted this post:

The other night, I was with a group of women in a mother's room.  One woman was nursing her 19 month old and the other women had no business being in the mothers room besides to socialize.  The nursing mom has turned to me several times recently for support.  She has been getting heat to stop breastfeeding her little daughter but she and her little girl weren't ready for this close bond to end.  I simply gave her "permission" to do as she sees best for her daughter and herself. This was all she needed to hear - a kind word and support from one mom to another.

On this particular night, several weeks after the aforementioned conversation took place, one of the women who was in the mothers room with her 20 month old son asked me: "Daphne, you're still nursing her, right?"  I proudly responded, "Yes." At which point she ever so rudely thrust her negative opinions about my extended breastfeeding relationship with MY daughter.  
For a second, being the somewhat sensitive person that I am at times, I thought, "surely, I heard her wrong.  She didn't mean it that way." But that thought was very quickly replaced by her repeating herself to make SURE she got her point across. 

Now, let me assure you, I was not broken by her mean words, her "opinion"....no....her opinion matters not to me.  What I choose to do is not her business and I am not ashamed of breastfeeding my almost two year old.  I attend my La Leche League meetings on a regular basis, keep in touch with my league leader and speak to other nursing moms all the time about the joys, benefits and challenges of breastfeeding.  I have PLENTY of support from them, my mom and most importantly, my sweet husband.  What struck me, stabbed me in the gut, tore at my chest, was watching her very detached relationship with her own little boy...as he ran screeching uncontrollably around the room carrying a bottle.  She proceeded to tell her screeching son to "show Adeline how to use that thing" (the bottle).  That "mommy replacement".  Don't get me wrong.  Even for nursing moms bottles can serve their purpose...but criticize ME????  MY decision???  I looked back at the nursing mom, the one who I had recently given support, the one who thanked me.  Who told me "my daughter thanks you, too" and realized what it must be like to be without good support.  I was sad for all those babies whose mothers' quit breastfeeding them out of fear of being chastised.  I was sad for all those moms, this very mom that criticized ME, for missing out on such a special bond with their babies.  Their toddlers.  Their small children.  Why is it that we as mothers who believe in teaching our children to be kind, loving and good to others, fail to 'practice what we preach'?  Aren't we all in this together...the end goal being the same?

I wrote this not out of spite, but out of care and concern for those of you who go through this very thing.  Don't stop doing what you feel is best for your child because someone made you feel "disgusting" for having a natural, loving relationship with them.  Listen to your heart and act with your head.  You'll know when it's the right time for both of you.  Don't let another person determine the length of your breastfeeding relationship with your child.  And all you "haters": Let it go.  Please. I'm not judging you for your choices. 

When I do decide to finish breastfeeding it will be because my daughter and I have mutually outgrown that part of our relationship...adhering to La Leche Leagues' loving recommendation to wean "gradually and with love".

Little A, fast asleep after a nursing session with her mum.

Challenges and Rewards of a Homeschooling Parent

Were you wondering where I had gone?  I have been trying to find the time/energy to get on here and post about our homeschooling success.  Life as a homeschooling parent is BUSY, BUSY!!  It's been great!  but I won't lie.  We've had good days and bad but overall my kids are progressing and enjoying the "one on two" attention.  Sure, they argue and fight and don't always want to do what I ask when I ask - they're kids....however, we read together all the time, take exciting field trips and turn learning into fun whenever/wherever possible.  Besides all of that, I like not having to worry about what kid is bullying my kids or what influence some mouthy 8 year old is having on them, what teacher isn't teaching for the right reasons, et cetera, et cetera.

I am going to break this down into two parts.  Those of you who home school probably will find some similarities to what we are experiencing.  Those of you who are "on the fence" may need to see this so you can make peace with your challenges ahead of time.  Hopefully this will give you the boost you need to "go for it".

Challenges:

• Keep baby A entertained/happy/quiet/out of danger while teaching E and L. 
• Find new ways to teach when learning presents a challenge for E.
• Stop L from giving E all of the answers without discouraging him from being a "peer teacher".
• Find time to get the shopping done, run errands, doctors/therapy appointments, cook meals, clean house, nurse A, and oh SHOWER while still making time for learning.
• Find patience when all things don't play out as "planned".  (See above)

While we have had our share of challenges we have realized that homeschooling reaps a plethora of benefits, too.  Here are some things that I appreciate:

Rewards:

• Schooling in our jammies  (Had to be noted)
• Allowing E and L to work at the pace that is best suited for each of them.
• Teaching my kids what they really want to know when they want to know it.
• Knowing EXACTLY what my kids strengths and weaknesses are.
• Seeing E and L's eyes light up when they really "get it" when learning something new.
• NOT coming home from my kids school with my stomach in knots.
• Feeling accomplished and self-sufficient at the end of the day.

Our laws in Indiana are fairly lax.  The only requirement is that we school 180 days a year.  We started in June and plan to school year round and have logged about 140 days to date.  L is finishing first grade and is already doing second grade math and spelling while reading at a third-fourth grade level.  E is in Kindergarten and although behind because of some other challenges she faces, is quickly catching up and will be ready to move into first grade in no time.  I was so worried that I would screw things up somehow and even though I have to put forth a great amount of effort, the kids LOVE to have ME teach them.  AND, they're learning.  They prove that to me as I watch them progress. 

I promise I will start making this blog more of a priority and squeeze in in somewhere to my busy schedule that I just love.  I want to expound upon our challenges and rewards further. I also want to talk about what we DO and how I keep the kids interested and socially active.  There's so much to say...you'll just have to come back to find out more.  :)